Research

I really appreciated your last comment, so I decided to do some reasearch, within myself and online.

Things that affect my relationship with my weight, healthy, body, and body image:

mom, society, my focus on weight rather than health, want for instant gratification.

Things that are successful to breaking a habit:
1. awareness
2. wanting to change
3. commitment
4. consistency (one step and day at a time. commiting on a daily basis)
5. perserverance

Quotes from online that I feel are true for me:

You greatly reduce your success probability if you suddenly wake up one morning, say “This is the day,” and dive headfirst into a change without realistically and specifically planning how you will make the change happen. (THIS is exactly my MO. I need to change and be more realistic and gradual in my endeavor to change.)

The Action stage must be followed by constant vigilance and a systematic plan for dealing with those temptations that can draw you back into the old, destructive pattern. It’s hard work to consolidate the gains you’ve made during the first four stages and to prevent relapse.

Celebrate achieving your goals, but don’t relax and tell yourself, “Whew! I’m glad that’s over!” Develop a menu of mental and behavioral coping strategies that will take you through the times when your feet begin to slip. (I have this fantasy about being "done" with this, but I have to recognize it may not be as simple as that.)

I will be following up on more research, because I obviously need to get a realistic strategy in mind. Thanks for all the help, you have no idea how much it means.

(oh, and the fact I could even make that last post really tells me how much trust and how safe I feel with you because that is hard for me to talk to even Joey about. Thank you for allowing me to have that with you.)

Ly,
M

Motivation

So I've been down about not doing well with everything (again...).

It feels really horrible and shameful to keep coming on this damn blog writing the same thing and messing up every time. I don't understand why I can't seem to do this. I can maintain a 4.0 throughout college, work, maintain relationships, but this is still something I struggle with all the time. I am beyond frustrated with myself. I feel like I don't know what to do, and I am so afraid I'll lose it again and then gain it back, and on and on and on.

So, on a more positive note, I've made a promise to myself to do what I can to be as healthy and confident as possible by my 21st birthday. I am young, and these should be the years I have to feel good and happy with myself, to be healthy and content. Today has gone well, and I put the balance in practice with allowing myself small treats (two Newman O's they had at work) while still eating healthy throughout the day. I think my main problem is restricting. My mom and I are going to LA Fitness Wednesday morning (my day off! no school or work!)so that will help. I think going to the gym will help keep me on track. I started going downhill when I stopped going.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I love you and thank you for always being there for me and not getting sick of me!

Love,
M

Behavioral change

I've been invigorated ever since I read that chapter on behavioral change in my intro book. I've been making little changes all over the place:
Drinking 64 oz of water per day
Snacking MUCH less in front of the TV
Changing my workout every day so I don't stay in a rut
Flossing once a day
Using mouth wash once a day
Taking a multivitamin
Making my bed
Washing my sheets once a week

Okay, so I know these are not all weight related, but they're all really positive changes I've been trying to implement. I've been going strong with each of these for two weeks and counting. So I think that with perserverence, I can keep them up.

I feel excited that I can accomplish small, even silly goals.

Hope your goals are coming, M. I know you're busy and it's hard to make time to post, but keep it up, I love reading them!

a

Over my head

So, I promised to be honest. I am feeling insanely overwhelmed right now. I am trying so hard to keep on top of my schoolwork, workwork, and keeping my attention on eating well and working out seems nearly impossible. This week in particular has been crazy, I am not getting enough sleep, and am trying to balance everything. I am literally counting down the days until summer and then I want to make a complete schedule for the gym. As of right now I am trying not to be defeatist but still let you know what is going on in my life. I get out of work at 5:30 today and then I have off tomorrow to play catchup on homework.

Love you so much.

<3

M

Tuesday

Hmm..where to start?

Well, I've been trying to implement behavioral change. Sunday I sat down with a new notebook and walked through some steps I need to achieve my goals. Unfortunately, that notebook is in the car and I am in the library. So I'll sum up:

I walked through my last post which outlined ways to implement behavioral change. The key piece to this is deciding on measurable, specific goals. It's so hard to say "I want to get healthy" or "I want to lose weight" and achieve just that because there are so many other goals that lead the way to those happening. Some of mine were:

Drink 64 ounces of water per day. This not only accomplishes the goal of not drinking as much coffee and diet coke, but helps to fuel my body with water which it so much needs.

Eat less snacks in front of the TV. I've declared this a trigger. The TV is my vege-out spot. Sometimes I eat in front of the TV just because it's a habit, it feel comfortbale.

Do some sort of activity while watching TV. I figure, I really enjoy watching TV, it's not something I want to all together give up, but if I can replace the negative habit of snacking in front of it with doing some crunches or lunges it can be a worthwhile activity.

Buy less packaged food and more fresh food. Put the fruit out on the counter. Just having it available and the junk food unavailable eliminates a whole lot of the problem.

I think those were all of my goals. I wrote out a log in a notebook with each of these and for each day I can write how much water, if I snacked in front of the TV etc. It's not that complicated, I feel like these goals are really achievable, but will really impact my health overall. So I'm feeling really positive about these.

If you come up with any ideas like this M, write them here.

ly.
a

New beginnings indeed

Seriously, tomorrow starts a new week and I'm glad about that!

I had a talk with G today about my thoughts..

This weightloss/weight management is such a battle, some weeks I do really well, I'm proud, feeling great, and some are just not as good. This was one of those weeks.

I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I just want to go back to the basics. At one point during this blog expedition, I was actually enjoying, sometimes even craving fruits and veggies. For the first time ever, I could say this. And now my snacks are chips (all be it, baked chips), and crackers, etc. I know these aren't horrible, but I felt really positive and good about those choices for my overall health.

I want to be more consistent, and be less inclined to grab the chips and actually want the apple.
We'll see. New week. Intrepidly pursing.

a

New Beginnings

So I opened an account at LA Fitness at a family member rate! I have a complimentary personal training appointment on Wednesday at 7:30pm, and I'm excited to start and make a routine filled with self workouts and group workouts. I've been having a hard time keeping my food on track without having a workout routine so this is something I need to continue and work on. Nikos said he would work out with me, my mom as well, and Elaina and I may be able to work out some time. I hope this all works out and I'd like to be able to call if you if I feel unmotivated or ill at ease with this working out thing. I know you're here for me and I appreciate that, but you really don't need to take it on if it is too much.

Anyway, I need to keep my head up and focus on positive changes and positive decisions. I will update on my first workout session at LA Fitness! :)

M

(oh, an christos anesti!)