Alright M, I'm waiting for a post from you! What's your update?

a

A good feeling.

I'm feeling a lot more positive about everything. I had a couple of days of eating I wasn't quite proud of but on the whole these last few months have really changed my life. I feel like I'm in a super positive place about weight, food choices etc. I'm thankful for both of your help. I think that the last five pounds is not as essential as maintenence is. I feel like I need to keep this lifestyle going forever and that seems like a monumental challenge. I don't want all of this hard work to ever go down the drain. I've done it way too many times when I lose weight and go back on bingeing for a few months. I'm grateful for the support of the blog to know that any time I'm struggling I can come here.

a

umm...

So I'm not sure what happened exactly, but last week I was 128 on the nose. Today I was 125.8.
I'm kind of baffled by this. I have no idea how this happened. I'm thinking is there some way I lost some muscle because I skipped my 4th day at the gym? I don't know, it's weird based on the way I ate for two days. It was only 2 days of bad eating and the other 5 were great. But still, how is this possible? I'm not going to let myself think about it too much. The same thing happened thanksgiving week. It doesn't make any sense. I guess I just realize weight fluctuates a lot and I think I'm actually at a stable place and water amounts, time of day etc are probably affecting it.

But either way I'm happy I didn't gain which is what I was afraid of. Started the week strong at the gym this morning with a tough workout. Satuday I was going to go for my 4th day at the gym, but since I never go on Saturday I didn't realize they're only open until 12. I was really mad. By the time we got back to town, it was closed. And they're closed all day Sundays. Can I just ask, why be closed almost the entire weekend every weekend? Ugh.

I hope that you both are doing well, I miss you both. Excited for New Years, M.

By the way, I'm working on my morals. I'll call soon. About to head out the door with G to go get my ipod jack installed at Best buy!!

a

Reflections

Hey A, so I have been fighting VERY similar demons as you know. Now, let me tell you Christmas was awful food wise for me. We went for lunch with Joey, his brother, and his divorced parents and we went to Waffle House, where I tried to be healthy with an egg white omelete, but it was TINY and I was hungry so I ate pretty badly. Then at his aunt and uncle's house the menu was pulled pork, rice and beans, and pastile (or something, I had no idea what it was). All very Hispanic and unhealthy, and it sucked because these were VERY nice people, but I did not feel uncomfortable explaining to them I was on a diet or anything like that so I ate pretty poorly. I had two choices: starve or eat.

BUT, that isn't an excuse. I need to look at it as a learning experience. I can be prepared next time, and head into these situations with a game plan. I went to the gym today and am going tomorrow.

These things are going to happen, and they will happen for the rest of our lives. Food is hard because we need it, and that balance of unhealthy vs. healthy will always be something we have to battle. And we have to be healthy and strong and determined to be healthy, but we also have to be sane. I never want food or this battle to be the most important thing in my life. Because, let's face it, it isn't. I spent an amazing Christmas with my family and Joey's and made memories I will have forever. I struggled with food, but I know I can get that under control, and I know you can too, A. You stumble, you wipe off your knees, and jump back up and fight. We will get to our goals, I know it. I will keep fighting and working until I've lost another 40 god-forsaken pounds. I know I will mess up again though, but I will just get back up again. I will take lessons from my screw-ups and try to make it happen less and less.

I am so proud of us (you too Kate!), and we have done an AMAZING job, we really have. Don't lose sight of that, just buckle down, and keep going. I'm with you. And if anyone can do it, we can.

Here's to our upcoming successes. <3

M

gross

I'm going to be a little hard on myself in this post, so brace yourselves. But I feel like I need to get it out and this is the only place to do that.

So 23rd- Did really well, stuck to my guns, avoided crap, etc.
24th- Not a fan of the dinner. I mean lots of carbs, nothing I cared for too much except biscuits. Seriously, I picked at everything a small bit but the only thing I ate worth anything was buscuits. But then later I'm hungry and it's not my house so small amount of dip and a couple of cookies. That's it. All day. No nourishment, nothing worth any nutritional value what so ever. But I wasn't even hungry. I just felt gross.

Today, bad again. I mean I think I knew I would be. I had planned today I'd eat some chips but that was before the mishaps of yesterday. Lots of chips, bacon and eggs for breakfast, (not in this order) delicius chicken my mom made (it had lots of naughty ingredients like whipping cream and some butter) and green beans. Then after dinner I guess I felt bad and just ate a few chocolates because they were there and I was down on myself.

And then as I was eating these stupid chocolates I had a moment of clarity where I thought, do I really want this or am I just upset about what I did? Well obvously it was the latter. So I just had to make a conscious choice to stop for the day. I can't undo what I've done. I can't take it back. But I'm going to the gym in the morning and I have a new day.

I felt big and proud of myself that I'd be able to survive the X-mas craziness with food, I'm strong enough, I'll only indulge in a few treats. The truth is, I'm not at a point where I can just indulge mindlessly. Because as soon a start social eating, I just don't stop. In my home I can ration portions SO well. Which again is a huge improvement, I never used to be good at this. But socially, once I'm around my family and I give into the notion that "it's Xmas or it's some other special day," I know there will always be SOMETHING, some reason to go crazy, but the fact is I just don't want to do it to my body.

It's just not worth how I feel in this moment. I'm guilty, I'm sad. I feel like all the hard work this week is down the drain, I know for 100% fact I've got to gain a pound this week. I've eaten worse in the past two days since we started this blog. I haven't gained in 13 weeks, that's incredible for me. And now I feel like I will. BUT I know I just have to start over. Get home, gym, healthy shopping and move on.

I feel like I need to get serious about being 120. Is this a goal or isn't it? If it is, I need to get my butt in gear because I have another almost 8lbs to go and I'm not going to get there if I keep giving in like this.

a

acc..

Mary, I'm super proud of you. I know this has been a tough week, but I have so much confidence in you that you will be able to perservere. You're practically half way there! I know my math isn't great but if you've lost 35 and you have 40 to go that seems like almost half to me.

I wanted to share a little tidbit because maybe this might help:
Yesterday we were driving to the inlaws and Gord called his mom to ask about the food options. (If it was all majorly unhealthy we decided we'd stop and eat healthy before we got there. Which I think was a good way to start out.)
It turns out there's lots of cakes, cookies, pies, chips and dip and veggies platters. She was also making a big ziti dish for actual dinner. So I was able to decide ahead of time what I'd allow myself to eat. I thought about it from a much more rational place because I wasn't in the midst of it. It's so much harder to decide in the moment than ahead. So I talked to him and said, I'm going to allow myself to have some chips and dip this holiday. I really enjoy that. BUT I don't really care about the sweets AS much. So I'll indulge in the thing I like (not a ton, but a little) and please help me not to eat the sweets. So I had that accountability right away with him. Then I was able to allow myself a little treat without doing something I'd later regret.

We used to do this when we were waiting for marriage. I know it sounds totally weird to relate the two. But it's true. We'd talk about things before the heat of the moment and establish our guidelines before we were in the heat of it. It helped us to be able to see it from how we really felt vs. what our hormones were telling us in a heated situation. I relate this here because in the moment it's harder to resist all of the treats at a party, but ahead of time we'll be more likely to make a small goals we'll want to carry through the rest of the day.

PS. I have good news.

a

Perserverance

Oh, Audrey, you are wise. So, like I've talked to Ash, I have been messing up food wise this week and I didn't go to the gym today. :( Pooper scooper. And my gym is closed Friday. So, I am going to go Saturday and Sunday.

I've thought about the fact that I cannot continue messing up as I have been or I will gain weight. I need to change things.

a. I need to be getting up at a decent time. Joey and I have been sleeping super late and laying around and being lazy. This would be fine if it didn't hurt my motivation. I'm going to be considering it my job to get up at a good time and get my butt to the gym.

b. I'm not going to restrict myself to the point of insanity. I am going to try to be more balanced. :)

c. I am going to focus on the end goal: health and comfort with my body. I've lost thirty five pounds and I have a lot more to go (forty pounds to be exact). I can do this. I know it. I may need your support, and I may call you when I'm weak, so I thank you both in advance for all the help I know you'll be giving me. I appreciate you so so much and love you both even more.

<3>

MTA

Not so good of a Workout

So I was at the gym and I just felt tired and unmotivated for some reason. I ended up doing 10 minutes on three elliptical machines each (so 30) and then just 20 on the treadmill and then strength training for 10. 

So, not horrible, but I need to just go that much harder tomorrow. I know I can. And at least I did the whole hour. 

Tomorrow will be better :)

M

I need to get my butt off this couch and go to the gym! It's just so cold in my house I don't want to get out from under this blanket. Brrrrrr...........

a

Sunday

So today was not my proudest. I woke up later so I had oatmeal for breakfast. We were attending a party tonight in place of youth group. I knew there'd be lots of snacks and since I wasn't that hungry when we went I figured I could stick to the veggies and such. Well, I didn't have anything really bad. Some veggies, crackers and a few spoonfuls of various dips. But I'm worried about the dips, because I'm not feeling so hot. Now that we've been home I've been reluctant to eat anything else because I'm thinking I ate plenty at the gathering. Calories wise I probably had a lot in stupid food that doesn't pack many nutrients. So now I'm not feeling great and not really nourished. I think it would be easy to blame it on "this time of year" and this is just what happens. But I think there's a lesson here. Don't rely on other people to provide anything healthy. When I'm going to a party or anything like that, I just need to eat ahead of time. The dips and party platters are never going to be anything I can trust. Honestly, if I was going to eat a bunch of crap for dinner I'd rather it be crap I'd really enjoy. So I feel disappointed in myself because I could have done a lot better. But I just have to remember the feeling I have in this exact moment and try not to make the same decisions again to be in this place.
a

35 pounds!

35 pounds lost ladies! Woot woot! I'm really happy and excited. Only one pound this week, but I will keep losing more and more and lose all I need to. :) But, seriously, I think about the fact that I've lost 35 pounds and I am in shock... that is a lot and I am really proud of myself. Even though I wish I had lost more this week, I know I can just lose more this coming week.

I think one thing I need to be careful of are Subway subs. I've been eating them, and I stick with really healthy options, but it's a lot of bread to be eating. I don't think I need to cut them out, period, but eat less of them and be more careful. That way I will just keep losing.

I think when I get to 150 I might get a tattoo. :) Of course, small and somewhere pretty hidden to people. Just an idea, I'm still mulling it over. It would be a quote though.

Oh, and Amber and Matt ordered from Pizza Hut for dinner, she had Wingstreet Wings and he got a pizzone. I just sort of ignored it and texted Ash and it wasn't so bad. I had already eaten as well and told them to not let me have any. <3>

Anyway, I am very happy. Joey and I went on a bike ride and I'm doing yoga tonight :)

Love you both!!

M

Living.

This morning I was getting dressed and I was looking in the mirror and felt really proud. I go back and forth with how I feel about my body, but this morning I was really happy. I can't believe I finally found something that works. My weight has always been a struggle, lost weight, gain it, lose it, gain it. Lately (the past 4 years) I've never been able to get beneath the 130 mark. Actually getting below 135 was a big deal which I did just before the wedding. I know it sounds like splitting hairs because it all is a healthy weight but to me, it's something I've really wanted to do for a long time. When I went to college I gained so much weight, I never though I'd ever get to this point again. Then, after the wedding putting on more and getting away from the work I'd done. I just stood there for a second today, really proud and happy. I think that 14 lbs is a huge accomplishment, one I really didn't think I was capable of anymore. I can't attribute it to anything else but this blog. Having this accountability, but more importantly the loving care of people going through the same thing has helped me so much.

Now I feel like I'm at that point where I could easily go back up in weight because I've reached the goal so there's not as much need to pay attention. But with this blog I feel like I'll be able to handle this stage the way I've been able to do the weight loss in the first place .

Today my mom, gamma and Donnie all came to visit. It was really nice by the way. We went out to eat and this place had so much buffallo things and nachos, mozzarella sticks, etc. I was so proud of myself at the beginning. My mom and aunt ordered breaded broccoli and cheese and I did well I just wanted to taste and have two. Which I controlled. I ordered my buffallo chicken wrap GRILLED (YAY! huge improvement.) Also asked to substitute the fries for veggies. Well, I was proud of both of these decisions and they brought me the fries on accident. So that was really hard to not indulge in. I had a few and was upset about it. But I think for me it just has to be out of sight. If it's not in my house or not ordered, I just don't crave it anymore. It's just still so hard when it's right in front of me. I'm working on it, but this is a new goal. To have the utmost self control and not justify something detrimental to my health and weightloss. So I think I'll blog about that a little more, what helps me have more self control and what gets in the way.

<3 a

Up and Down

So I volunteered all morning with the Red Cross and they had all sorts of goodies, including croissants, which are my favorites, but I successfully stayed away. :)

But, while I was at the gym I had a sort of sad thought. I've heard it suggested before that overweight or fat people, especially girls, develop some sort of quasi-complex that basically involves pleasing people or jumping through hoops to gain people's approval. Every time I've heard that, I've sort of cringed inside and pushed it as far away as possible. However, thinking about it at the gym kind of validated that I really think I developed that, and not really with my family but with my friends. It's not that I don't love doing things for other people (because I really, sincerely do), but sometimes I wonder if I do overcompensate and try to please people in a way that maybe is unhealthy. But, if I want to be honest with myself, I felt like the fat girl of the group for a long time, and I think I internalized that and had to overcompensate in some ways, if that makes sense. I still think I feel inferior because I am the heaviest, and a lot of the time I feel like I have the cheapest clothes, makeup, and beauty products. I know this is probably really stupid, but I'm sitting here crying and I just feel like I need to look at how I deal with this stuff. I mean the night of my birthday I was so ashamed because I have this beautiful mom who wears a size two and I look the way I look. I think I take that stuff, lock it away, and overcompensate in other ways. 

I don't know, I think I'm just going to think about what is healthy versus what isn't and try to deal. I just have to dig deep and sort it out. Honestly just being able to be honest about it helps a lot. I feel better after getting it all out. Really, so thanks for all your support.  

M

Newness

So yesterday I was at the gym and I was looking at my sheet where I record everything I do since we started this. I just became really really proud. I don't think I've given myself enough credit of how huge this has been and how much I've accomplished. When I talked to you guys that day at Starbucks I had no idea we'd be here only three months later. I was just getting so fed up with my relationship with food and my body. I just felt overwhelmed and unhappy and I just didnt know what to do. And now I've already accomplished the goal I set out to do.

It's just this whole feeling of newness. I'm not craving bad things the way I used to. I just think, oh that's not on my plan. At the beginning it was SOOO hard, I would just crave things really powerfully, but now I just don't have those cravings. Obviously, sometimes I do, but it's just not nearly the same thing.

The thing I'm struggling most with now is that I think I have a distorted image of myself. I've explained how I do the yo-yo dieting thing. But I think that when I'm on my "eat whatever" mindset I look at myself and try to see myself as smaller and justify my behavior. But now when I'm on my healthy eating plan I'm looking at myself and constantly thinking I look really big in certain places. I look at magazines or TV and try to find bodies I look like, but I just don't know exactly how I look. And I'm hard on myself at the same time. I wish I could just look in the mirror and see what everyone else sees, but I just don't think I do.

I also want to be comfortable with myself and allow myself to do this slowly. I have gone from the overweight category of BMI to healthy range since we started this. I feel like since Im in that range I can't be too mad if the pounds don't want to drop off. I do want to look like the models and hell, like my friends. But I also want to work on my self esteem and remember that I am healthy and that's the goal.

<3 New Week

Hi dears,

Kate - I am thinking about you and your travels to Australia. I am hoping you are having an AMAZING time.

I decided that while on break I'm going to do yoga on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. I did it yesterday, and felt so good afterward. I just really want to use this break to do my best and get really good at yoga :) It is so nice to take ownership and pride in the strength and ability of my body, and to know how much it can accomplish. I feel like I took it for granted and wasted it for so long. I just know I never want to lose touch with that again, because I did for a long time.

My mom and I are talking about the NYC trip and it is a really good incentive to be at a good weight (hopefully 150!) by March so I can enjoy myself, go shopping, and be a little more carefree. :)

<3>

Ash -- how are meals going? Love you.

MTA

Hmm..

Hello ladies. I'm not too sure what to write. Things have been going so-so. I need to keep up with having good groceries in the house because last week I didn't do a good big shopping trip so a few times when I was hungry I had some snacks instead of fruits and veggies. The gym is going really well, I think I need to change some things up, but I'm not sure of exactly what. I know this isn't a really good post, but it's all I have to say.

Last Workout of the Week

Ahhh, so this week was TOUGH. I'm not going to lie. I haven't been 100 percent, but I kept pushing and went strong all week. It is insane how much better I am at the gym, how much stronger my body is. I know that sounds weird, but I can feel myself getting better, more healthy, and stronger.

I'm a little nervous to weigh myself tomorrow -- I really hope I lose some poundage, but if not, I'll just keep going. To be honest, things are a lot easier. The gym is just something I do, something I have to do, I don't feel like I even have much of a choice anymore, and eating better doesn't seem as daunting or hard anymore. Not that I want to jinx myself, and I mean, it isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it is easier than in the beginning. I still have about 5-6 months until I'll be down to my real goal weight, but I know I get smaller, healthier, and happier with each week I keep going.

Honestly, I'm just excited for the day I feel comfortable in a swimsuit. :)

Thanks for listening to my boring ramblings. (Well, reading, not really listening). Love you so much, both of you. <3

Middle of the Week

So this past week has been hard, workout wise. I've been doing everything and not slacking, but I feel less excited, but I think part of that is the stress from exams and all that stuff. For example, Monday I was at the gym after having very little sleep, so I know that had a lot to do with it. I've been doing really well with avoiding the scale until Saturdays, and I think that is really helping me.

I'm just tired, and need to take some time for myself, which is what I think I'll do tonight. Just relax and allow myself to unwind.

Joey told me two of his friends told him I was looking good and like I'd lost weight, but I guess they didn't tell me because they thought maybe it would be weird, lol. So that is good news, not that I care a lot about people noticing, but I do a little bit. :) Anyway, it's been quite a week so far. Love you both to pieces.

MTA

127.8 YAY

Today I did my weigh in and I couldn't believe the number I saw. I can't believe this number is real, I'm just so excited and proud and thankful.

So that marks me at to date 14.2 lbs lost. Also a 2.5% body fat drop. I just want to keep going and going, goal 1 down, goal 2 to go.

I was wondering about the blog. Kate, I know you started the one for Australia with the same e-mail address (it's very cute by the way!) But is there a way to seperate the two? It's really important to me that this remains private and there's no way to create a totally private blog on here. But since now you have two with your e-mail the profile are the same for both. So I'm thinking if some of your friends read your Australia one they could potentially see a link to this one as well. I tried to figure out how to change the e-mail to this account, but I don't think that's allowed. So do you think you could figure out a way to have the two seperate?

By the way, I love this new background.

Hmmmm....

So I read this article today about a mother and daughter who had problems in their relationship because the daughter was fat. They both wrote the article, and the gist was that the daughter was healthy and unashamed of being fat (she says she is not ashamed of the word and basically has reclaimed it). She said it was indeed possible to be healthy and fat because she exercises and mentioned she had her metabolism measured and was pretty slow.

Then the mother, who was thin, said she was so proud of her daughter love and acceptance of her body, but she wasn't there yet and was afraid to allow her body to be whatever weight it wanted to be.

So, this kind of bothered me. I mean, yes, I do believe you can be overweight and relatively healthy, but the fact of the matter is your body is not healthy carrying that extra weight and just because you can hulahoop does not mean you are in good physical condition. Allowing your body to "be whatever weight it wants to" is NOT good because if you are not careful you can become diabetic, have heart problems, etcetera. I don't think poorly of the overweight (obviously) and I'm pretty sure my BMI is still in the overweight category. Now, I do not think big people deserve prejudice or anything like that, but let's not get carried away and try to rationalize being fat. I just don't buy it. Your feet shouldn't have to carry around fifty extra pounds, and your heart deserves to be exercised. I am all for accepting body image and loving yourself, but I think you can love your body and still be realistic about getting into a comfortable area with yourself and/or challenging your physical health (I do... I am so thankful I have these legs and this heart and these hands because many, many others are not blessed with a functioning body like mine, and I believe we should keep this in mind).

And for that one person that does exercise and just has an abnormally slow metabolism, there are at least one hundred that could be helping themselves but choose not to (like me before the blog. I was overweight, I knew it, I had sunk into apathy). This is no different than someone addicted to alcohol or cigarettes or gambling or any activity hurting their bodies, but obesity and being overweight just happens to be more obvious. I am not hating on these people (or would be on myself) but I'm just saying let's not kid ourselves and teach children that it is okay to be fat, when really it isn't.

Hope it's okay that I rambled a bit. Love you both.

Updated!

So i have offically updated and prettified our blog, it was long over due. if we make over our bodies, we muct make over the conduit that enables that! Yes, mary its the backround we both so desperatly loved that sarah has, but this is for our eyes only so i hope she wont mind. In the mean time I have decided to blog my journey to Austrailia. I hope its fun to read, and not redicualse... I dont know why i have been so phobic of bloggin before, but pandoras box is open...it on... so tune in if youd like. its www.imgoingtothelanddownunder.blogspot.com

enjoy!

Another post

SO hi ladies! This could be a long story but I'll try to shortenit. Friday on the way to Gamma's house, driving in the rain. We had plans to spend the night and go to the craft fair the next day, drive home here and go to Gord's office party.

So on the way Gamma calls and Gordo talks because I'm driving pretty Rosie in the rain. She says she wants us to stop at NIck's and get a pizza and salad. I told him to tell her I'm on a diet (which she knows) can we stop and Panera or Chili's? (Because I already have done my research and know exactly what's the healthiest there because I go there so much). She says that's too expensive. (Mind you, we don't care about buying our own food, but she always wants to buy for her kids when they come over which is very sweet. But when she's paying there's only so much you can say.) So they hung up on "we'll talk about it". So me and Gord talked and I thought, how am I going to be around pizza one of my most favorite things and not eat it? Espiecally because I wanted dinner too, so I couldn't just eat the whole salad and leave none for anybody else.

So then ridiculously my mom calls us. It's like telephone in my family, I swear. So my mom says Gamma's really concerned about the money, please just eat pizza. Which by the way, last time I saw her she was all, "why are you losing so much weight? you look really thin" not in a nice way but in a weird kind of jealous way or angry or something, I don't know it was way weird. ANYWAY. I was kind of upset. So here I am thinking well, I guess I could have just one piece and salad. But I'd undo my whole day. I worked off 410 calories on the two machines that morning and I just didn't want to throw it all to the wind. So I'm going back and forth in my head.

Well, this put me over the edge: Gamma called back and talked to Gord and said order a pizza for all of us and a small everything pizza for granddaddy. I was so angry. I just couldn't believe that two weeks he's in the hospital with another blocked artery and now hey, let's give him some pizza. It just made everything so much more clear. I called her back and in a very calm way said "I just don't feel comfortable bringing pizza to him and I'm on a diet and I just can't eat it." So we stopped at Publix and bought lean ground beef, whole wheat pasta and low fat spaghetting sauce and made everyone healthy spaghetti.

It was one of those moments where I felt really proud. I said to Gordo "There's no reason to wonder why everyone in my family is addicted to something." It doesn't matter how close to death he is, he's just not going to change his diet. And I realize that while I was dealing with my food issue on a much smaller scale, this could be me in 50 years. And I'm just not willing to let that happen. And I feel happy that I was able to be an adult and make a positive decision and not allow tempting food to win out. I feel so much stronger in the area of food decision making since we started this blog. I knew that if I ate it I'd have to write it on here and that helped me. But it wasn't the only thing. It was something inside of me saying, I'm not going to be that person anymore.

And as I said to Gordo that night, I'm not a psycho who's saying I'll never eat pizza again. I just don't want it now. I want to get to my goal and maintain for a while and then enjoy indulgences in small doses. But not because I have to or it's there and "I don't have a choice" because I think the reality is, we do have choices when it comes to food. And as much as this was a tough situation, I had a choice and I know I made the right one. So...

Friday:
B: Cheerios, protein drink
L: Turkey (not from thanksgiving! deli meat!)
D: Healthy spaghetti

Saturday:
B: Eggs
L: Soup, Grilled chicken sandwich
D: Few h'our dourves and the party, tried to go for the healthier things

Today:

late breakfast so probably no lunch today. Cheerios and protein drink. Not sure what dinner will be.

Can't wait for tomorrow, love you!

a

Yesssss

So, I lost five pounds this week.... I knew these workouts would pay off!!

That is 30 pounds thus far, and I am really happy and feel energized and inspired to keep working hard. I'm really happy and feel good about it. I did yoga today and I want to just keep going strong.

I love you both and I thank you for your support. I could not have done this without both of you.


<3 <3 <3

Will post all food, I just have to

I guys. I decided I'm going to post all the foods I eat. It's not as easy to cheat when I do this. SO

yesterday went as planned but after dinner I was cheatey. Even after the long post about how I won't cheat, I was just going to have my little treat of low fat ice cream. But then it turned out the sunchips were calling my name... so I decided last night to get rid of them. at the beginning I was able to control these little cravings and indulge minimally. But since I'm at this place now I've fallen off the wagon a little. So they're gone.

B: Cereal, protein drink
L: Small amount of tuna mixed with light mayo
D: Feta on a lean burger and small piece of whole grain bread.

This was much much better and I'm not going to snack. It's 7:00 now and I'm still hungry so I'm going to let myself have some raisins. But I just feel like I need to be more careful and writing it all out really helps.

And, my garbage disposal went on the fritz this morning and needless to say the kitchen was not where I wanted to be all day. BUT Gord came home and fixed it! Isn't that exciting? I'm so proud! And thankful to have a handyman husband.
a

Awesome workouts and goal for NY

So, I have been doing awesome at the gym this week. I'm feeling really good about it. Today, I did 10 on one type of elliptical, 30 on another type of elliptical, another 10 on the first kind and 10 on the treadmill. That's 50 straight minutes on two different elliptical trainers. I NEVER would have thought I would be anywhere near capable of that, and I have been doing it all week. 50 and then treadmill or 50 and then strength training.

Sorry if I'm being repetitive, but it is just so crazy to me. My body feels sore, but good at the same time. It's kind of amazing. I'm excited to start doing yoga three times a week during break.

I'm just really hoping to get down another five pounds this week... I know that sounds like a lot, but I have so much to lose and have been really kicking butt, so I'm hoping!

I might be going to NYC in March for Spring Break and I want to be at 150 when I go. I'm at 180 now, so I don't think that's unattainable. I'll need to lose around 10 pounds a month to make it. I think I can do it. :) Or at least get close.


<3 you guys so much. Thank you for all your help, support, and love. <3

MTA

Wednesday

Hi guys.

I've been trying to figure out exactly what to report to the blog. Starting out writing everything I ate daily was really helpful because I was holding myself accountable for everything. But now I'm doing a lot better and I don't feel like I need to write that every day. But I know that if I want to be really serious about losing these last 10lbs I'm going to have to work really hard to take out the little cheats I've been letting slide. So I might just have to start writing out my menu choices again.

Yesterday I ate
B: Cereal, protein drink
L: Broccolli soup, small chunk of baugette
D: Steak, couple bites of mashed potatoes, 1 roll and some chips with cheese dip.

Hmm....so it's kind of embarassing to admit this. The steak was fine, real small portion, I shared with my mom. Only a few bites of the potatoes, but the cheese dip and chips was probably no a good choice. I thought I could just have a few, I mean hey I've accomplished so much..right...?? I will give myself that I did MUCH better at this meal than I would have pre-blog. I would ate until I was so full to the point of uncomfort. This time I was able to have just a couple cheats. And honestly I think this would be FINE if I was at my goal weight. A dinner out and open to some treats. but the problem is I've altered that first goal and I'm just not there yet.

So all in all, I was disappointed with the decision to indulge a little too much. I feel like I need to be more serious at this point if these are really going to come off. The first 12 has taken a LOT of work and very little cheating. If I'm going to get off another 10, it's going to take even more work and even less cheating. SO I know I need to be much more serious. I'm going to work on it.

Monday I had
B: Plain oatmeal
L: Tuna by itself with a serving of light mayo mixed in, baked lays chips
D: baked chicken with artichokes, goat cheese, tomatoes, spinache
S: lowfat ice cream, sunchips

(Too many snacks this day, I realized that after dinner and I was still hungry...)

Today (Wednesday)
B: Cereal, coffee
L: Tzataki sauce, feta and small lean ground beef patty on whole grain bread
For dinner I'm thinking of salad or something else very small.

I'm not posting this because I think you guys should care or be interested at all, it's just I need that accountability I had in the beginning when I was posting everything I ate. Because now that I've reached this point it's just so much easier to cheat and I really don't want to. Thanks for the help.

a

Baby Steps

Hi guys.

So, today I kicked ass. Let me expand on that... instead of spending 30 minutes on the elliptical and 20 on the treadmill (and then 10 with weights) I went 10 minutes on one type of elliptical, 30 minutes on another type of elliptical, and then 10 minutes on the first type of elliptical machine. Then, I lifted weights. So, I spent 50 minutes on two different types of elliptical trainers, then did my weights. HECK YES. I slowed down for the 30 minute machine, but still. I think I burned over 400 calories. I want to do this all week, and then somehow switch it up next week.

I am really pumped about this, and proud of myself. :)


If I don't lose weight this week I will punch something. No, I won't, but I will be pissed.

<3 times a million,

M

After thanksgiving..

So today was weigh day and I'm not going to lie I was definitely nervous. I indulged last week. And as last week was the third straight week with no weight loss and it was Thanksgiving I was not expecting much. I had braced myself for weight gain, although I really didn't think I had an extra 3500 calories last week, that'd be a lot more than I ate. But I was bracing myself. But the good news is I lost ONE pound. I'm really excited, not only did I break the plateau but it was during thanksgiving week. How in the heck is this even possible?

I did work out just as hard as any other week and I limited what I ate. I tried to let Thanksgiving be a cheat day, but when you look at it there wasn't that much bad stuff. Because my diet has changed SO much from previous times, I actually really enjoyed indulging in things like broccolli casserole and mashed potatoes. Now I know in the area of healthy living these things are full of carbs and they're not good, but comparitively to what I used to indulge in (pizza, wings, cheesefries...) this is SO much better. We're talking about vegetables mixed with low fat milk and some cheese, really, not even compareable to the afforementioned.

SO I'm happy about this for many reasons. I'm happy that I enjoyed myself. And I'm happy my tastes have changed so much that these indulgences are enjoyable to me (I never used to like Thanksgiving food. Many years I would just have a Chilis salad or something instead). I know, weird. But now I'm really enjoying these healthy things because of this lifestyle change.

This week I'm going to do a full week of cardio and work really hard at no exceptions diet wise. I want to limit any extras that aren't going to help me reach my goals for this week espiecally.

I went on the rowing machine for 30 minutes and the stair master for 30 and did 10 minutes on the treadmill. I though it'd be good to mix it up and do machines I never do. I HATE breaking my routine at the gym. Once I get into the swing of something that I like and is working I hate to switch it up. I get so comfortable and I'm afraid I'll undo everything I just accomplished with my old routine. But the fact is if I really want to lose more pounds and not just maintain, I'm going to have to keep switching up. And just as soon as I start to get comfortable I'll need to switch it up again otherwise my body just won't lose the weight.

<3 a

Almost December

So I didn't lose anything this week. :( Poop on a stick. BUT, I did maintain, and that is good. So, I can't complain and wallow in self pity too too much :)

I did my yoga today, and it went well. I am really dedicated to doing it once a week, and I feel like I'm going to get a lot healthier/more flexible/more toned. I'm excited.

I did cheat on Thanksgiving, but have been doing well since. Sometimes you just have to eat like a normal person, and not feel too bad. I'll be on a healthy lifestyle for a long, long time, and it is okay for me to break every once in a while. Also, it was a DELICIOUS dinner cooked by A (best turkey I've ever tasted :)).


So, Im just going to work hard at the gym this week and try to lose more :)

Hope you guys have a good week <3

Hola, Me gusto mucho el stomacho

So, i have had a good little turn around since our subway meeetig.

I have been valiantly trying to work out everyday, as for intense cardio...its just not happening as much as i would like, but i have been doing, swauts, abbs, planks, and yoga like no bodys bussiness... I think a veriation of the aforementioned everyday... And its rediculase beceusae i have cut back on the cheates in my diet but not totally cut everything out. so ill just cut to the chase and then fill in on the details....

I started out at 130 some weeks ago, and now some how im sitting at 124... IM not sure when it came off, but i can see where it left, and this makes me oh so happy!

But i just really suprised! I have cut out most alchol, which is a lot of calories, becuse i normally have a glass of wine everynight with dinner or after. I also have started eating little bits all day long vs. the big meals....And this week i finally let go... Good Bye cheessy gordita crunch... I think that did it. last week i went to the gym and ran, and ran, and ran, and then was so starving i couldent wait thr 45 mon drive home....and ate one...compleately defeated the purpose of the running, but i sippose my heart is healther for it, well minus the artery clogging fat i so rapidlyy injected back into it.

My goal this week is just to keep on track, on friday when we do thanksgivving ( josh is working thurs) idecided to ahve some desert and wine, and forgo large amounts of other things that arnt that great. Goal is to portion control my dinner to 4 oz meat max, and onlly colored veggies free of butter, no bread, and sum stuffing. That wasy i dont have to worry to mucha bout the damage the pie will do...

well i must go start this paper i have been avoiding for a century....


bye!

xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo

A little worried about the holidays

Hello loves.

I just wanted to update and tell you guys about this week so far. So far, so good. I'm really sore, and I don't know if it's from yoga, cardio, or what, but WHOA DANG. I huwt :(. Today, especially, was really hard at the gym, I kept wanting to give up, but I kept going. It may be a little creepy but I talked to myself a lot, I say (not out loud) weird things like "C'mon baby, you're doing so well. I'm so proud of you, baby" Why I call myself baby, I have no idea. Maybe it's because that what Joey says to me so I find it comforting? I don't know, but sorta weird.

I'm a little worried about the holidays and all the comfort food they bring. A, I'm really going to be good at Thanksgiving, I'm already committing to this. If I weighed 130 lbs. maybe I would indulge, but that's not where I'm at, so I have to stay true. Hope that is okay :)

Strangely enough, I am SO excited to bake for Thanksgiving. Even though I love sweets and treats, I know I'll be able to abstain, and I'll get joy from making them and making everyone else happy.

Alright, that is all for now. Love you both so mucho.

MTA :)

So excited for thanksgiving, and much needed cheating!

So today I'm doing really well. I had a little breakdown last night about the plateau. But I got over it. Today I went to the gym and worked out really hard. I'm considering next week doing a full week of cardio. Just to switch it up and see what happens.

I'm so excited about thanksgiving. I'm hoping it won't disappoint. But usually my cheating would be on pizza and cheesefries and buffallo wings. but now it's going to be on healthy food! Turkey is actually really good for you and the other things will be vegetables- potatoes, broccoli casserole, squash casserole. The only cheat that'll be really bad is Miss Mary's little devilish cookies. But I'm just so looking forward to it. I know I can treat myself to these things because I've been doing so well.

This is week 8 of our blog and I'm super thankful for it.

a

Official Plateau!

noun: A plateau of a function is a part of its domain where the function has constant value.

This is going to be a very weird, emotional, up and down post, so be prepared. I know it will be because that's how my emotions have been the past few hours. BUT I think the only thing to do is write about it.

So this is week 3 at the exact same weight. Not an ounce either way, for 3 weeks. I only weigh myself of Mondays so my hopes were really up. I got on the scale and was so discouraged. I didn't want to work out, but I took a few minutes and ended up working out. I just feel like, I'm working SO hard and managing my intake of food SO well, what in the world is going on? But after talking to Mary I realize everyone goes through this. It's a part of weightloss. And I could look at this as an end-all be all or a challenge to work through. No one said this was going to be easy.

I just know that my life, my body, strength, energy, self confidence all have increased dramatically since I've made this commitment. And I've tried and tried and tried so many times, you guys know because I spelled it out in one of my first posts. And now would be my pattern to go the other way. Just say fuck it, nothing's changing, why bother? And then I'd get fed up after a few more pounds and come back to trying hard again. I just feel like I can't go down that road again. I've worked so hard to lose the 11lbs thus far and I just don't want to give up.

Even if these last tenlbs take a year, it'd be better to stay steady at this weight andwork on those last ten than go back up and down and up and down. So I'm trying to look at this as a positive. I'm probably not ready to be at maintence. It takes a lot of self control and I know I'm not ready for that yet. I increased my goal for this very reason. I know if I keep working like this it will pay off. It's just frustrating right now.

It's baby steps, and each time I choose the right meal over the wrong one, every time I walk away from the scale and don't give up, every time I look in the mirror and value body, these are all steps in the right direction.

Thanks for all of your help, always.

a

read this por favor!

http://www.bikramyogabrooklyn.com/hurstsogood.pdf

I THINK IT WILL EXSPLAIN BEET THAN I JUST DID IN THAT JUMBLE OF WORDS BELOW.... i FEEL LIKE SUCH A TREE HUGGER : )

im so in love with reading this!

I love that you and Joey are playing Tenis together! And your 25 lbs lite-er, holy crap amazing!!!!
Ash, i am proud beyond words about the chees fries...i know it sounds kinda silly, but its thoos small victories that change and make us into the people we are becomming!


Well for me

This week i have been really good about working out!

sunday i rested from our lil thing and was sore as ever. Monday ran the stairs for 25 minutes. Tuesday rested but did Abbs, yoga... Wed cardio at USF gym and burned 250 cals in 20 min, was very proud considering thats all the time i had. Thurs, Hot Yoga! AMAZING....

It was my best class yet. Not that i preformed that great but it does something to ones spirtit. Barney just has this way of centering you and making one really focus on whats important. He said something that just rang a bell.." In a weeks time we put on pounds of stress, in youga we take off only ounces." Its so true... All week, we go go go, and stress, fight, and bust our ass for what we believe in and are wooking towards. Yet we never take time to build ourselves up and take care of our bodies, which according to many is our temple.

I think it is my new drug of choice.
I find myself rearanging my schedual so i can make time for a minumum of studio time once a week. and now im doing it on off days. But not in a downward dog, plank, repeate way. He swicthces things up everyweek a little bit. And presents them as physicall challenges, and really has this way of teaching one to put the pain and discomfort in this place where it dosne t phase yoiu any more. Sound new age and weird, but im telling you girls you really must go with me to Barneys class some week on Thursday nights... We did this shoulder exercise, and held it and held it and it burned like hell. Bit he was right you get to this thresh hold and its like you mind goes out the window,and you bosy fades away and i was acctually annoyed when he made us stop... Granted my shoulders are still sore and its sunday and this was thursday night. But the mind is such a baffeling, amazing thing. Must go do homework!

love,. Love. Love

Another Five Pounds Lost!

:) :) :)

So that makes the total 25 pounds lost :)

Thank you guys for all the help/support/love/advice.

I love both of you so much.

And I did yoga today. I was right, I did suck, lol. But, I know I'll get better.



This kind of looks like a poem, hahaha.

Anyway, that's all folks.

<3 MTA

Lovely Saturday

Hi!

So yesterday Gordo was sick and we've had plans for this weekend to do some serious car shopping. After the thing with K went off I spend hours this week looking up info on cars, finding them, pricing them etc. I was so excited to go get one this weekend. Well...

It's just so frustraing, buying a used car. Because there's a budget and then there's certain colors you don't like and then the dealer only has one you want with leather and that costs another 1000 out of the budget, blah blah blah.

So we got approved for our loan at a real low rate and we're all ready to go this morning. But Gordo was not feeling real well so we got a late start. Found a good one but the color was ugly. Went to another dealer, the one they had on their website was no longer there. Another dealer had a great car but it was an upgraded edition so they wanted more than we could spend.

The point? Freaking frustrating! So we were worn out and Chili's was across the street and we went. Didn't want to make dinner, easy option. Well, I told him I wanted to get cheese fries. And I was serious. I started justifying it. But THANKFULLY, gordo said let's not get them. I had previously asked him when we started this whole thing to stop me if I really needed help. Most of the times I'm okay at resisting, but today I was just so stressed, it was a coping mechanism. But I had a helper there and I know that had he not been there and I was with someone who didn't care about helping me with this I for sure would have had them. And then 500 calories later I would have been really mad at myself.

And we talked about it later and I told him, I'm not saying I don't want to never have cheese fries again, I just want it to be a planned time. I don't want to do it in the heat of the moment because I'm stressed. And let me tell you, this is the first time I've really been able to be serious about sticking to this. Thanks to you guys, this blog, Gord, and my own hard work I feel like I really overcame something tonight. Yea, I needed that reminder, but I could have gotten them if I really wanted to. But I'm doing SO much better than I ever have and i'm so grateful

<3 A

Tennis, Yoga, Workout

So Joey and I played tennis today, and I kind of stunk. BUT, I had fun and Joey was so cute and patient with me. :) I love him.

Tomorrow I'm getting up and doing yoga. Which, I'm pretty sure I will stink at too, but I will continue doing both until I rock. :)

I've been doing a sort of circuit training, with 10 minutes on the elliptical and 10 on the bike (or treadmill, I switch it up) and I keep switching at 10 minute intervals, ending up with 30 minutes on the elliptical and either 30 or 20 on the treadmill/bike. Nikos said he didn't really think this was not a good idea because I don't keep my heart up at a good rate enough to start burning fat since I sort of go easier on the bike/treadmill than on the elliptical. What do you two think? I feel like I go harder in the 10 minute intervals... I can just see how it goes.

I got these 80 calorie fruit bars... DELICIOUS. But they do have 19 grams of sugar, which isn't awesome, but it says they're made with real fruit. They make good snacks. I also go these 100 calorie ice cream sandwiches. Also very good.


Anyway, that's kind of it for now. I love you guys so much! Thanks for all the support you give me.

MTA

Friday :)

Hey lovely ladies,

So last night I went to see New Moon with my two cousins and my auntie. It was amaaazing. But, seriously, Ash, I can't wait to see it again with you in a quieter theater. My cousin Carly was driving me insane most because she wouldn't stop giving commentary and is ultra Team Jacob (yech!). Anyway, how does this have to do with anything? They had goodies. Mhhhm. Huge buckets of popcorn, cinnabon, and had wanted to order pizza (which thankfully didn't work out). Anyway, I just drank a lot of Diet Coke, hahaha. I wanted the caffeine and figured a boatload of diet coke was better than all the other junk.

Also, I told them all "please don't let me eat any of this" from the beginning, so being open about it helped. I feel like if you're in a group that is going to a restaurant or at a party that you feel comfortable with (like fam & friends) it is much easier if you can tell them about your health commitment and chances are, they will help keep you accountable that time. Anyway, that's just food for thought. :)

Had a late start from being up so late, so I'm heading to the gym in a bit. Love you both. <3

Mary's theory

Sorry I didn't call you back, M , I'm playing nurse to a very sick husband :( fever is 99 so it's not THAT high yet.

But I think your theory STINKS! So tell that to Joey, he's not the only one.

AND I would call you now, but it's 11:51 pm and my guess is that wouldn't be very nice of me.

oh and BLOG!

a

Another day

Hi ladies.

so today was MUCH better. It's really interesting how this whole thing really is a day to day process. I feel like there'll never be a real end to eating issues, good or bad. It's so imporatant to take each day and each meal and try, just genuinely try to make the right choice.

A woman at the gym gave me a really nice compliment and it sure did lift my spirits.

I feel like these next 10 lbs are going to be more difficult than the last. And it's a little daunting. It's hard to talk about without sounding ridiculous. Because I look at people who are around my own size and think they need to lose weight and I think they are crazy. But I know I really be much happier at this goal that I've played around with for years. I guess I feel like I'm starting all over again even though I never stopped trying to lose weight. I just think that these next ten lbs will be so hard and I'm feeling strange about it.

I do know that no matter what the scale says, I just have to keep going. My life is already so much better from this lifestyle. Feeding my body the way it deserves to be treated is its own reward. I have to come to peace with the fact that it might take a really long time to reach my goal, but even if this is the case that's not a reason to stop. Weightloss is a mindset, a constant choice. It shouldn't change based on the scale. For all intents and purposes it'd probably be better to do away completely with the stupid scale.

I feel like such an adult nowadays. Hell, I'm making Thanksgiving dinner. But really, I'm making decisions for myself, going against my families tried and true defense mechanisms and living my own way. (Insert rambling here about things completely unrelated to the blog...)

This positive lifestyle with food impacts me in a great way because I'm able to be the person I want to be. I don't feel self conscious about my body the way I did when I was eating unhealthily. Because I know just as most people can't tell I've lost weight, they couldn't either tell that I had gained weight, but I had. And I didn't feel comfortable in my clothes and I was self conscious. It's what's going on on the inside that's most important here. And when I say inside I mean mind and body. When I treat my body well I feel good about it, when I treat it bad I feel bad and so on. So even if the scale doesn't send of whistles and horns next time I step on I need to remember how I feel now after accomplishing a lot and treating my body with respect.

that's all for now.

a

Ugh..

Hey guys.

I'm really disappointed today. I weighed in and did not lose a single oz. I guess it's frustrating because I just can't pinpoint it to anything. Last week I worked out as normal, ate pretty much well. A couple of times in the hospital I had greek salads, but nothing really bad at all. I"m just so frustrated because I don't know what caused it.

So today i had cereal for breakfast, salad for lunch and about two hours after lunch I have a horrible migraine and I'm so hungry. So I had a banana and raisins. right now I'm still battling a headache and hunger and I just don't know why. It's the same salad I've had a bunch of times and somehow it's just not filling me.

So that's my blog of complaints. Sorry for the negativity, but it's just how I'm feeling.

a

You two better start blogging...

So I didn't do that well Sunday with snackies, but I talked to Joey and we're thinking it is because Sundays I get bored/restless. Him and I may start bike riding/ playing tennis on those days to help keep me on track. He's a good egg, that Joey.

I started strength training on Monday and holy cannolli it hurts to sit. I tried doing crunches on the mats but something strange happened... as soon as I crunched once, I felt this horrible pain in my back/side area, so I stopped. I think I may try the ab machine. I really like the hip abductor machines -- they work too, it's where I'm most sore.

The only thing is, I think 15 minutes may be too long because I started running out of things to do, so I may switch to 10 minutes 3 days a week. I was doing 3 sets of 8 reps, and I want to keep increasing.

Today I switched it up a little, and did 30 on the elliptical and 30 on the bike to add some variety.

Love you both very much. <3

Life is good

Hi loves,

I had surprisingly enjoyable workouts all week. Excited for two days off from cardio. I've decided to add 15 minutes of strength training three times a week to my workout, and just subtract 15 minutes from the treadmill on those days.

I'm really proud of myself for not giving up on the gym and actually growing to like(ish) it. It's becoming such a part of my routine, I have a hard time imagining not going (strange, I know).

And, this may be weird, but I like saying to the guys that head the desk "see ya tomorrow!" as I leave. I feel accomplished, lol :) Oh, and when I would see people on the elliptical machines before I would look at them and think "dear god, they're working hard and are sweating and obviously in much better shape than I." I'm now one of those people! Wootwoot.

I need to find good 15 minute strength training exercises that tone but don't add bulk. I will be hunting!

Excited for yoga tomorrow!

Love you both so so much.

MTA

Nov.12

Sometimes you'll laugh
Sometimes you'll cry
Life never tells us, the when's or why's
When you've got friends, to wish you well
You'll find your point when
You will exhale

These lyrics just spoke to me last night while I was working out. I got a really sad phone call yesterday and I looked around me wondering what to do now, how to make myself move, how to keep going. I know his life is not necessarily over, but that thought that the time might actually be here is really scary. I find myself with less hope than I had when either of them have been in the hostpital before. So I looked at my options, with the help from MTA. Lie down and suck myself into oblivion or get up off the ground and face life and keep going. I guess you know which one I chose.

I headed to the gm last night around 6pm. Going there has for so long been such an escape for me. When I get there all that matters in my little world is each tiny goal. Each set, sometimes, depending on how tired I am, each REP is its own goal. And I blare the music in my ears, so loud that I really hope the old people around me can't hear the lyrics that continually use words like hoe, bitch and ni***. ;) But last night I was just there, me my weights, the treadmill and my goals, and the music ofcourse. And it's like this alternate universe where all I can focus on is these tiny goals. Agression, saddness, excitement, fear, excitement, I've experienced all of these emotions at the gym. Whatever mood I'm in somehow always produces the same result: more motivation to accomplish those tiny and large goals. So this morning I set my alarm for 5 but it didn't go off and I ended waking up at 6:30. I headed to the gym. Really this was only 12 hours later than the workout from yesterday but I just didn't care. It was another chance to escape the pressures of the outside world and retreat into a safe place with only me, music and goals.

I don't know why I'm sharing this, it just seems to be what wants to pour out of my fingers.

Mary, upon reading your last post I think your brother is right on about a few things.
A- I don't know that you're at a plateau. You've lost and gained the 20lbs before but maybe it's just a small hump you need to get past and then you'll be fine. By the beginning of next week you may have lost more. I just think it's discouraging for you to hover around this spot, you want to drop below it quicker, which is totally understandable! My advice really is to add in that strength training. I watched the biggest loser the other night and I think I figured out why they lose SO much weight.

A girl who lost 100lbs in 9 weeks got voted off and was on Leno and she said that post biggest loser she works out 6 days a week with 6 different trainers for 4 hours on days she works and 6 hours on days she doesn't. Granted this girl started at 450 lbs and left the show at 350lbs. So she still has a long way to go. But with all this working out after the show she has only lost like 15lbs. On the show they literally must work out 8 or 9 hours a day, it's just my guess. But they do show them doings TONS of strength training and lots of cardio. Interval training really. They'll do squats, lunges, and then jump on the treadmill for 10 minutes then back to weights etc. I think because when you do strength training you're building muscle and the more muscle you have the more fat burned throughout the day.

I know that doing the cardio for extended periods of time is a lot of work, but for some reason I think that adding in the strength training really makes all the difference. I was doing 3 miles on the elliptical before we started this blog and I was at a total plateau. I was even gaining weight. But the workout I'm doing now I do strength, cardio, strength, cardio, strength, cardio. And it's not even really hard stuff, it's lunges squats, using dumbells and then get on the machines. My heart rate is up the whole time, but I'm never bored because I'm constantly moving from one thing to the other.

B- not weighing yourself. I think this is probably a really good idea. I know how much it has improved my position from cutting down from every few days to only once a week. Maybe you could go to once a month. BUT keep in close mind how your clothes are fitting, how you feel on a brisk walk, how you feel sitting vs. standing etc. Because these are all better monitors of HEALTH than of weight. If you FEEL good, you're going to look good. Focusing on that number can be encouraging when it's dropped but when it hasn't it's such a huge disappointment that it can almost hinder weightloss. I think it's a good idea as long as you're still taking notice to how you feel.

C- mindset: I think it's true. Find something you really enjoy. Even if it was swimming or something out there, add it into the routine to get you more motivated. Don't push yourself to do something you hate. If it's something you can go in and feel good and happy while doing it you're so much more likely to keep it up.


Okay I think that's all for now. I love you both, thank you so much for always being there for me.

Official Plateau

Hi ladies,

So I have determined that I am officially facing a weight loss plateau. I have researched articles on this and I think basically what I need to do is switch up my workouts. I think I'm going to do 30 on the elliptical and 30 on the bike. And then next week 30 on the elliptical and 30 on the treadmill and keep switching it up. Then on Saturdays and Sundays doing yoga and strength training.

I called Nikos, who has lost the most weight of anyone I know. I told him my dilemma: 20 pounds lost, on a plateau. He said some pretty interesting things:

a. he said I should not go to the gym for weight loss, but for fun. Obviously, he said, I would have to work at this, but it would have to be a serious attitude shift.

b. he said to stop weighing myself. Period. Ever. He said it is only discouraging when you have really far to go.

I don't think I'll not ever weigh myself, but I think maybe I should only weigh myself once a month.

So, what do you guys think???

And Ash, I love you and I am constantly keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

<3 love you both.

Tuesday, no school tomorrow :) :) :)

Hi ladies.

Well, so far this week so good. I'm on track, and am doing 30 on the elliptical and 30 on the treadmill, just a little bit slower on the elliptical so I don't have a cardiac arrest, lol.

What I'm thinking is for next week to attempt 40 on the elliptical and 20 on the treadmill and slow it down if need be. I'm thinking even if I'm slower on the elliptical it is burning more calories than the treadmill. Do we know if this is true? Anyway, if I kick it up in time, I can work on speed as I go. Eventually, I want to get to a place where I'm doing an hour on the elliptical. I'm struggling with the weights thing though, I just don't know when I should start. I just really think maybe I should just try to keep shedding the pounds before I try to tone... and I can start toning when I'm closer to my goal. I don't know though. I'll keep thinking about it.

I never did the yoga on Saturday and Sunday, so I want to make sure I do it this week.

Kate... do you know what is best to order in an indian restaurant for low cal/low fat options??

Love you guys so much, and thank you for all the support. <3

MTA

tuesday...Feta is home!

Yesterday I weighed in at 131. three lbs down from last week, only 2 lbs from my original goal weight which has now been increased so 11 lbs away from goal weight. I'm really excited about this. Last week I did a lot of cardio because I was at home, and I think that's why there was a jump of 3lbs. So I'm going to work in a little more cardio to my routine. I love doing the weights and I think my body is really looking great, but I think I just need more cardio.

Food is going really well. Stile lots of salads, fruit, smoothies, ygourt etc. I'm actually craving fruit and veggies. The cravings for crappy food has gone WAY down. Today my mom came to visit (for the first time since we've been here!) she brought Feta and then the three of us (gord, not Feta) went out to eat. I got a salad and gord had fries on his plate and I wasn't even really tempted. I had like two just because, but I didn't feel like, I need more! It was a good feeling, to know okay I want two and that's fine but that's it, and it really was it. I wouldn't order them on my plate, I'm definitely not there yet, but it's steps in the right direction I feel.

A

Disappointed

So, I've just had a crazy weekend, I don't want to go to school these next two days at all, and I just feel like crap.

Last night I cheated, bad. I went to the store and got candy, and fell right back into my old pattern. All this after my last post saying how awesome I was doing. Guess that's what I get. I feel bad and like I let myself and you guys down. I'm just really pissed off at myself.

BUT. I can take my own advice and realize how I got there, and how I can prevent it from happening again. I've been thinking about this, and next time I will

a. Call one of you. Be honest. Talk it out.
b. Re-read these blog posts for inspiration.
c. Not do it :) :)

Anyway, I just have to let it go. It's done and all I can do is keep truckin' and grow and learn from it, right?

Anyway, need to go to the gym soon. Love you guys.

M

Sunday, a new week...

I'm feeling so great this morning. I don't know why, but I just feel refreshed and happy. Maybe it's because I'm home and my hubby is back in town. Yesterday was a CRAZY stressful day. I was so frustrated. But all went well with food.

Today I'm sitting around browsing channels, and I was baffled to see there's a program on MTV called Sex Addiction with Dr. Drew. He counsels people with sex addiction, on TV which, from a client/doctor relationship, makes no sense to me as to how this is being broadcast on TV. BUT it's pretty interesting. I know this has nothing to do with "Fat does not Equal Fun" but the whole concept of addiction, no matter what it is has a lot of common threads. I'm just so glad we're all doing well with eating and saying we'll never be in a place to be addicted to food. No matter what, whether we lose pounds each week or not, at least we're being good to our bodies and not allowing addiction to ever rule our lives.

A NEW week, ladies! Are you so excited? I am!

<3 <3 <3 you!
a

so its been a while...

Oh my gosh, i love reading all the posts... it makes me so happy. I am so encouraged to read that each of us is on the same page... I for a while have had that same realization. Everytime i eat i need to think about what i am putting im my body. It is also sooooo good that we are doing it for the right reasons.I have to go but ill cathc up on everything very soon!

More Natural

So, since we started, I've been very disciplined, but eating a sugary snack each week, and just trying to be balanced and healthy. I do my best to eat healthy with 100 calorie packs, fruit, yogurt, cheese, lean cuisines, etc... and these past few days I've noticed it is all just coming a lot more naturally for me. The last time I dropped a bunch of weight, before the wedding, I would go on and off, and punish myself for a week and then not care for two days, but by doing my best to be diligent and balanced and healthy, I think about and am tempted by junk food a lot less. I mean, it doesn't go away, but I think I'm getting a handle on the lifestyle part of it. The only discouraging thing is how far I have to go... but that's okay. I'll get there when I get there. :)

I keep getting comments that my skin looks good, which I think is just a sign of my whole body "clearing up", and working through all the crap I put into it. Even with working out, I am happy to be treating my body with the respect it deserves. I know this may sound crazy, but it really is shame that we (even as a society) put our bodies down so much... I mean they work so hard and are really beautiful things that we should cherish (haha, I mean, if we didn't have them we'd be dead!). I know that sounds a little weird, but I mean it. I don't want to tear down my body. It has been good to me, and I have actually been abusing it.

That's where my head is today. <3 you guys so much.

MTA

Thoughts...

So while I work out I have all of these thoughts floating around in my head. And I know this blog is meant to help us with weight loss and fitness, but I think in order to do that, for me I need to be a little bit more introspective. So if you don't want to read this because it sounds like stuff I've already written here before I understand!

But I think that in order for my weightloss to be an actual true lifestyle change, I need to think a lot about what's going on, constantly. There's been so many times where I eat something and don't think about it first. This is one of the first things to go once someone starts a diet. Because now, instead of making a decision to eat a food, there must some thought put into it in order to maintain losing weight. So it seems that now EVERY thing that goes into my mouth I think of ahead of time. I try to think, will this help me achieve my goal or not? And I'm certainly not saying to obsess about it, I'm just saying I need to think before I reach.

That all being said, when I'm stressed in the past I've reached for food. Nowadays as we're a month into this plan, it's been a whole lot easier to know that when a craving for stress eating comes, I don't have to be a slave to it. Yesterday, for example- At Gamma's we have traditions of playing games around the kitchen table. This has been in place ever since I was very young. There's always chips and dip on the table. Because we'd sit there playing games for hours before dinner and that's just something that's always been there. So yesterday as Gamma and I are sitting there playing games, I got this craving for chips and dip. Thankfully there wasn't any in the house. But the craving was real. And this sounds weird, but I've heard that when smokers give up smoking they sometimes have to change their entire routines because sitting in the place where they usually have a cigarette or doing something where they would usually have a cigarette in hand evokes intense cravings for one. The point of this is to point out that I'm recognizing these traps and trying to put an end to them.

So, recently I listened to some people talking about the serenity prayer and how it helps them. It goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

And I'm having a lot of issues with my mom right now, and well forever really. But I'm riding my bike today and all of these thoughts like, "why is she still with this guy, why is she not listening to my ideas, she was not the mom I needed as a child and isn't the mom I need now...." And then I think, "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." I can't change the fact that she wasn't there for me when I needed her. I can't change the fact that she's never listened to me and she's not listening to me now. But I CAN change how I deal with it. "the courage to change the things I can-" I can start living in a healthy way, improve my life, improve my self image, improve my health, improve my body. I can change the way my future children grow up. I can be the mom to them, the way I never had growing up.

Anyway, these are my random thoughts and I know they don't seem like they're related to weightloss, but for me, thinking about these things is helping me to make better choices for the lifestyle, not just a diet like all the times I've failed before.

<3 A

Doing well...

I have to go grocery shopping so bad - the fridge is not too full right now.

I slept in late, around 12, today, so only had lunch and dinner. I think I'm going to have my sugary snack tonight (yummmmmm!)

The gym is going well,

AND I TOTALLY GOT HIT ON AT THE GYM. Funny story. Seriously. Ash, you know it. Kate, call me if you wanna know it. It is pretty funny/awkward.

So, I have a question. I eat Kashi cereal which is healthy, and I have it with skim milk. The thing is, I know I'm having more than a cup, and with the calories in the cereal and the milk... is that too much? What do you guys think?

Love you so much sisterfriends. <3

Freaking potatoes

So Breakfast today, bran cereal, coffee. Lunch went to Rodies and had an egg white greek omelette and hash browns. I didn't think hash browns were that bad, but I looked them up and they're insane! Like tons and tons of fat. Now I don't think I should have dinner. Ugh. I'm so mad. Maybe I'll just heat up some broccolli and call it a day.

A

Updates

Hi lovely ladies,

I haven't updated my meals in a while, but they have all honestly been really good! Sunday I cheated unhappily with some doritos. I've already punished myself enough though, so I'm not going to go into it. I have a hard time when i'm stressed to not reach for a naughty treat. BUT since Sunday meals have been just great. Breakfast, lunch and dinner all healthy all week. Lots of veggies and fruits as snacks. I'm getting so much better at avoiding the bad and walking away moderately full not overly disgustingly full.

Exercise has been fine. Last week I did 4 workouts of the training. This week I did one of the training and yesterday a run, today a long bike ride an tomorrow either the bike or running and hopefully saturday I'll be going to Yoga with Kate.

I'm so excited about your loss, Mar. I'm very inspired to avoid temptations thanks to your awesome resolve.

Kate, Ihope you're feeling better soon.

A

Drum Roll Please...

I lost four more pounds. :D

So the count is officially 19 lbs. lost. I am pretty much, if I remember correctly, where I was at Ash's wedding. I went wrong because I used the wedding as an excuse to slack and eat whatever I want. It all went downhill from there. I am not doing that this time, which is one reason I didn't drink at Ruschelle's party. Once I get to maintaining, I can be more flexible, but I got myself here and I have to work to undo it.

I don't want either of you to feel bad that you're not losing weight as quickly as I am, because you really have to remember, I am in a completely different place, health wise, and if you have more to lose it really does come off more quickly. You both know that though :)

Also, I need to find out what I'm going to have at Bonefish tonight... I hope they post nutritional info.

Anyway, doing well with food and the gym. Love you both soooo much. :)

MTA

NOVEMBER FIRST

YAY for a new month. We have 42 posts from October! I'm so excited. 8 lbs down from October 1st. Thanks for all help and encouragement.

Yeserday:
B: Egg white omelettes with feta, tomatoes, spinache
L: 2 100 cal packs
D: Frozen Fish, squash and asparagus
The party I had some baked lays...

Today:
B: Oatmeal
L: PB&J
D: Hasn't happened yet, but I'm thinking chicken.

Weigh in would be tomorrow, but I'm going to Titusville so it will be Tuesday. Here's hoping for atleast 2 for Tuesday!!

<3

i just ate a piece of pie. and ate pizza... and your both sitting here.... and im sorry mary for shoving ie in your face..


xxoxoxoxoo

'Ello Loves!

So, for the last two days, I really did not feel like going to the gym. But, I did. And today, while on the elliptical, the little devil on my shoulder kept trying to convince me to get off, do something easier, etc... but I didn't. I stuck with it and finished my time. And afterwards, I actually did feel a little energized and good. I think I'm getting the hang of it all. (That being said, I might go right back to loathing it on Monday, but still!)

I can't even tell you guys how good it feels to put so much effort, determination, discipline, sacrifice, and heart into something, and reap the benefits. It's how I feel about saving money too (same nouns), because it really is getting exactly out of something what you put in. School is comparable, but I enjoy it too much to consider it a sacrifice as of right now. It just feels really good, that's all.

I have to tell you both, this blog was an incredible idea and I feel so inspired and like this is really going to happen for me and all of us. I'm thinking that in about 5-6 months, I will be at my long term goal, and my shorter term goal will come in about three months, and I know you two will probably have met your goals by then, so I was wondering if we could still have this blog... even if I'm the one writing most of the time. I hope we will, because it has REALLY helped me. I have never felt so supported and not alone in this weight loss thing before. I appreciate you guys.
love you both, sisterfriends.

MTA

THURSDAY

Hello loves,

B: Total cereal, coffee
L: Banana
D: Lean ground beef burger with feta and HOMEMADE Taziki sauce and sauted veggies in a whole wheat pita
S: Smart Food popcorn

I LOVED this dinner. It's packed with protein and super low cal! Taziki sauce I used non fat greek yogurt, 1 tbs of extra virgin olive oil, dill, 1/2 cucumber, lots of garlic.

Gym is going really well. I can feel myself getting stronger and stronger. Today I was just thinking, I'm just so baffled at what my body can do.

Mary, I had an idea for you. I know you ae saying you don't really enjoy the gym. Today I worked out really hard and then did a cool down with soft music, really relaxing music and then stretches. This might add another 10 minutes to your routine, but you could use it to look forward to. It could maybe be a motivation. ??

A

Problem w/ Breakfast

Hello ladies,

So I've been having a problem. I have never been much of an early morning eater. Even when I was all about the junk food, I would rarely eat breakfast, and if I did it was awhile after I actually woke up.

Now that I'm going to the gym, I know it's important for me to start healthy and well, but I'm telling you guys, it makes me sick. Lately, after I get off the elliptical I feel like I'm going to throw up, and I can feel the food just sticking to my stomach. I've tried protein bars, fruit (which is not enough, I know), and the only thing that I can feel remotely good with is a reduced fat cheese stick, which is good but I know it doesn't have a lot of substance in terms of being all I eat in the morning.

And this is not all in my head. the other day on the elliptical, I really thought I was going to get ill (sorry for the gross out). I drink a lot of water when I work out -- think that has something to do with it?

What should I do?

Anyway, I am still on track so that's a good thing! I think I'm going to have my sugary snack tonight or tomorrow night. :)

I am so proud of all of us. I love you and I know that without you two, I seriously could not do this. Thank you.

<3MTA

Wednesday

Hellooo...

Today
B: A variation of Kate's smoothie- 1/2 cup greek style yogurt, raspberries, 1/2 banana
and one piece of toast

L: Salad with yogurt dressing, tons of veggies,
100 cal pack of cookies and really small amount of milk, about 4 sips

D: Well I'm planning on making goat cheese chicken Best Life Diet Recipe. This should be the menu for the day.

I've been doing a lot of thinking on my growing up and I am realizing that my mom was just so wrapped up in her own life she didn't take the time to teach me many things. One of them was how to be healthy. I missed out on childhood in many ways, but this is one lesson I really haven't learned until now. I'm so sick of yo-yo dieting and I'm hoping I can really change my life for good. When I have kids I really want to be a healthy mom that teaches them how to be healthy.

I'm upping my goal. I was going for 129. I'm 5 lbs away from that. But I'm going to tack on the last 9 and go for 120. It's been so long that I've been steadily under 130 I've been hovering around it for a long time. With this lifestyle change I was really timid about setting a big goal, but I now know that I can really do it. It's been three weeks and I have no desire to give up. Usually by now I'd have lost a little weight and gone off, gained some and I'd be looking to lose weight again soon. Now I know this is here for good, and I'm not afraid of the big goal.

When we started this I was 142 with a BMI of 24.8 (.1 away from overweight for my height (5'3.5'') ( Normal weight 18.5-24.9)
The next week was 137.5 BMI 24.0
Next week 136 BMI 23.7
This week 134 BMI 23.4

I was shooting for 129 but I think I'll be happier at 120 BMI 20.9

Anyways I just thought I'd tell you guys about my increased goals. I'm so much more confident than I have been. Thank you for your support. This is a demon I've been fighting for so long and you girls are such a strength in pursuing this goal.

<3
A

Almost Wednesday

So I've been doing 25 on the elliptical and 35 on the treadmill this week, and oh my dear lord -- what a workout! I am a sweaty mess! But it is going well, except I still sort of hate it ;) Healthy eating is going splendidly as well. And Joey is a dear. Even though he eats delicious, naughty things in front of me.

Saturday and Tuesday all three of us should bring healthy meals (since they're potlucks) so we can all stick together!

You know what is good motivation for me? The fact that if I had stayed on this lifestyle when I had lost the weight before the wedding, I would probably be at or near my goal weight right now. I just imagine my future self thanking my present self for all the hard work, lol. Seriously though, focusing on the future is really helpful.

I need to go grocery shopping, for sure. The kitchen is running low. It drives me crazy because I try to buy for my mom too, but it's a useless endeavor... Anyway, that's all what's going on now.

And Ash, my gym CDs are awesome. :D

Love you both so so much. You both help me so much. (Kate, btw, thanks for the info on the eel sauce Saturday night. You are amazingly well informed. You would totally be my lifeline if I were on a game show.)

Mary Mouse

Tuesday was weigh day, Monday usually but out of town...

So I lost two pounds.

I was extremely excited about this because I was so nervous going away that I'd be in trouble to gain. I made really good choices while there. A couple temptations, but overall enough to lose 7,000 more nasty calories, YAY!

Workouts have been going fantastically well. I LOVE this workout you reccommended, Kate. I'm still not sure I'm getting enough cardio, but when I was getting tons of cardio I wasn't losing any weight so I think I'm going to stick to this for now. By the way I looked up online about weight training vs. cardio and it said weight training is a gift that keeps on giving because as you build muscle, the more muscle you have the more calories you burn when not working out. So i'm trying to keep a balance between the two. I used the jump rope today at the gym and woah, that works! I couldn't believe how hard it was to keep it going for 50 jumps!

SOOOOO that's all for me. LOVE YOU!

-A

Oh I forgot to update my menus lately,

but today was

B- whole grain waffles, coffee
L- oops...
D: salad with tons of veggies, oil and vinegar dressing litttle feta and whole wheat spaghetti with lean ground beef.

I'm contemplating a little desert right now. Either a 100 calorie cookie pack or a weight watchers ice cream sandwich.

Tomorrow I'm making a Kate's Smoothie with Greek Yogurt for breakfast!

Sushi Dilemma

Hey ladies,

So last night I went out with E and R and we ended up at a Sushi place. Now, I like Sushi, but I wasn't really in the mood.

So, I saw on the menu they had broiled chicken rolled with carrots and some other green vegetable. I thought "Perfect! Sounds very healthy!" I ordered it, and was good to go. Well, I was starving too, by the way.

So it came out and there was eel sauce all over the chicken rolls. Now, I had no idea what it was, and I wasn't about to start wiping it off the chicken, so I had no choice but to eat it.

So I know eel sauce isn't horrible, but it has A LOT of sugar in it. I was disappointed, and although it was good, I would have been happier if I could have controlled how much sauce was on the chicken. So I learned a lesson: even if the menu does not say there will be sauce (at least I didn't think it did!), as a rule, ask for sauce on the side!!

Love you ladies. <3

And, thank you so much for all the encouragement. :) You guys rock.

MTA