Sorry!

I am sorry I've been slow on posting. I just had to figure out this new semester!

So I feel like with February coming I want to set some more goals and buckle down and really step my game up because I've gotten a little lax for a bit. I need to think of some strategies and incentives and I will update. I just want the both of you to know I am very committed to this blog - it means a lot to me and I am not forsaking it!!


I am going to follow up about my February plan. Love love love!

M

Today.

So lately the gym has been going well. I've been working on increasing levels and making sure I'm really challenging myself.

About food though. My main struggle:
I've really gone back and forth. Some days it's a huge priority and somedays I find myself stress eating. For instance today. For some reason it was really stressful. Things were upsetting G and I picked up some of his stress. I don't really know why I instantly transferred his stress to myself, but I just did.

Last night I was really craving tacos, but resisted the urge. Today it just hit, major craving and coupled with the stress I went to the store, bought all the stuff and came home and made them. I had an idea that I could go to Tijuana Flats and get tacos (less mess, cleanup, no cooking involved.) But I figured if I got the stuff to make it I could use extra lean ground beef and not have to risk all of the extra fat.

This was good in theory. But I think the problem came in when I grabbed the sour cream and thought, Doritos would be a nice side to the tacos. Well, I totally indulged in one of my most beloved treats. Tacos, doritos = not a good healthy dinner.

I wish I could just write this off and say, it's okay but the truth is it's just not. I am still to this day not at a place where I can truly trust myself around my problem foods.
Will I ever get to that place? I guess I don't really know. I ate out of pure stress, anxiety.

And I went right to my classic coping food. Cheese, saltyness...

I'm disappointed, yes. But it's more than that. It's like I spent so much time at the gym this morning. I burned 450 calories and that doesn't nearly cover what I ate at dinner. I had a nice healthy balanced breakfast with a lean cuisine at lunch and completely blew it at dinner.

I feel really bad and it only makes the stress worse. I don't know why I thought this would help anything. I feel it's important to write this here because maybe next time I go to do something like this I'll stop and read this post. I don't know why I think that considering I've said this exact same thing in the past.

Well all I can do is learn. I really have been doing so much better the majority of the time. I even chose to do tacos the semi healthier way. It's just certain things i'm just not ready for.
a

How's it going?

How are things going for you guys? I've been doing well eating and gyming. What's going on with you two??
a

I want jeans that fit right.

I'm going to try a new workout today. According to my measurements, I can't find the right jeans to fit. My hips are in one size about two sizes bigger than my waist, and it makes jeans just fit weird. So I went to womens health mag. com and printed out a workout specifically for pear shapes like me. I'm excited to try it. Usually I don't want to change anything at the gym. I get in a routine and I don't want to mess with it. But I know it's absolutely necessary to mix up routines every week or two, so I'm going to try it today and let you guys know how it goes!

First week of classes

So this week has gone well, I've been going to the gym in the afternoons on some of the days, and I think that can be a good thing for me, so I'm happy with that :) I mean, I have the time, so why not? I don't have to torture myself and get up at 7 when I don't need to. I'm doing well with eating and working out, so I finally feel completely back on track after the mess ups/ holidays/ being sick. I'm still a little nasaly but feel way, way better.

So, while on my sickbed, I watched Say Yes to the Dress a lot and kind of loved it (even though some of those women were spending on a dress what I would spend on my entire wedding! Sheesh!), but it got me thinking about my wedding day and how I want to feel comfortable, healthy, and beautiful in my own skin and my dress. I know I have a lot of work to do and a long way to go, but I want to be at that place, and I want to be at a place where I can be in some sort of a balance and not think about food 24/7. I know I'll get to that maintaining level and I honestly don't want to get married until I am. I just want to get to the best place possible first, ya know?

Anyway, love you both very much (kate I miss you on this blog!!)

<3 And I can't wait to shop for wedding dresses with the both of you with the best, most healthy body of my life :)

M

Sick Days

So eating well while being sick is not an easy task, and I reverted to some comfort foods. :( Yuck Yuck Yuck!

Also not being able to go workout sucks but I don't want to hurt myself and I need to focus on my health.

I feel like this break has not been easy for me at all, but tomorrow is Sunday and that means it is a NEW day. I'm not going to go to the gym because I am nervous because I'm still nasally and congested, but I am going to get up early and do yoga and make sure I hit the gym on Monday.

Break is officially over and now it is time to buckle down and focus on my goals and my health.


I am excited (and a little nervous) for school to start but I feel like it is extra incentive to keep working hard.


Oh, and.... my mom and the new york thing kinda fell through, which honestly I sort of honestly thought might happen. Joey's aunt and uncle live in NJ so we are talking about going there and staying with them and venture into the city. I hope that happens, it would be so amazing.

BUT, I'm so excited to go CAMPING!!!

love you.
M

I'm kind of disappointed in my food choices today. I wish I had done a little better. i think I'm nervous about school starting up, it's not a good excuse. I just need to keep coming here, to the blog to stay on track. It wasn't anything really bad, just not really good for my body. I want to be really good to my body and feed it healthily. I just need help and to be more intensely committed to this. Mary, you are really inspiring with this. Thanks for all of your help. The way you stick to your goals is so helpful to me. <3
a

Fluctuating..

So lately I've been fluctuating. Last week I went down two lbs which was baffling to me. Then this week I went back up 1 lb. I'm guessing this is because of my period this last week. I think it's less important to focus on the numbers than to talk about how I feel and the choices I'm making food wise.

This week has been really good on eating. I've meandered over into more processed food and less fresh however. Lean cuisines, low fat cereals and then fresh at dinner time. I know this isn't ideal, but it's so much easier because that stuff doesn't go bad as fast.

When I went shopping I was excited to try on a 2 at Ann Taylor that fit perfectly. It was really strange to me that I actually fit into that size. I was super happy about it, but in a way I'm really scared. I'm at my first goal, but I'm so scared I won't be able to really stay there. I know this is irrational, if I've been able to take it off I know I can keep it off. But the problem as we all know, wasn't as much the weight as the mindset. I'm trying to find a balance of keeping health in mind and not being obsessed with calories. I've never been able to stay in the middle ie. healthy food, gym, maintence. This is a huge feat for me I know this blog will continue to help me through.

Also, so many people are coming to my gym and taking tours and signing up because it's the "new year". I'm so proud of us for all doing this because we needed to, not because of the date.
a

Good workouts, Good days

So yesterday and today I had two really good workouts. It feels really nice to enjoy going to the gym (even if it is just a little, lol), and kick ass on the elliptical :)

But, annoyingly, I am fitting into smaller clothes, but my stupid boobs can present problems in a lot of clothes. I'll find things that fit perfectly or are even a little big on my lower and middle areas, but there is no way the boobs are fitting. I hate shopping and seeing really beautiful things that I know aren't built to accommodate my boobs. But, they'll get smaller and all is well, I still fit into smaller sizes and feel healthy and good so that is all that matters! :D Besides, I can't hate on them too much, I do like them a little :)

Anyway, I am really happy to be on a better track and feel lighter and better. I'm really proud of us and our progress. And, honestly, I'm just excited for when I lose it all and throw a huge party!!!

:D

Love you so much,

M

Finally...

Sorry to be late on an update.

Honestly, with this break I'm struggling. I feel like it will get a lot easier when I'm in a routine and working towards school goals. I'm really excited for school to start back up again. I think I've had enough of a break so far, lol. :) I just think I got so used to a routine, this break is hard because I feel purposeless.

But, I do have some 2010 goals:

1. Be 150 by March.
2. Be 130 by July.

I think those are fair, and if it takes longer, it takes longer. It is what it is, all I can do is my best, and I know I can do that. And I really think being in school with a goal and a focus will be much easier... I'm excited for the first day :)

Thank you for being such great friends to me this year and helping/supporting me. You guys have no idea how much I love you.

New Years was fun. I haven't even sipped an alcoholic drink since we started, even earlier, so I allowed myself to let loose a little, and stopped when I was tipsy and had fun. It is nice to, every once in a while, allow yourself to do that and still be in control but let loose a bit too. :)

A, I love you so much and can't wait to go camping hehe :)

M